I’m losing track of my emotions, they are hard to control. It’s not the work, it’s the message I want to convey that makes me sad. I watched another post of my taken down because all I think I said was “I disagree”.
The essence of science is to fight. Our opinions and our voices are what are supposed to set the foundation for the future. But what I have faced for what I believe in is something beautiful and borderline religious is met with ridicule and hate. They think I am dumb, they underestimate what I can do, cmon, I’ve been in this shit for 11 fucking years, and finally, someone listens to my ideas in academia in this bloody grad school. I was buried, plagiarized, and left alone. I started at Austin Community College and I am proud of that. I worked my way up and listened to a lot of others but I have been judged because of where I am from and because I don’t mention my friends.
I believe in something and fighting for that is what makes me depressed every day. I don’t want my ideas attached to my name anymore. I want to be free of my name, and I want to be free to discuss without asking where I’m from, why don’t you test me if you don’t think I understand. I have no clue where Dr. Jones or his wife Lennard came from but I god damn respect what he wrote. I have to give up my life for something I don’t even know, I lose my happiness.
