I told her: “I am going to drop out of this Ph.D. program. I don’t care, we should be free.”
Her: “Where would we go?”
Me: “Canada. We can take my car and head north through California, Oregon, Washington and cross over the border.”
She knew what I was suggesting.
Her: “I don’t have a passport”.
Me: “Lets go get one together, the nearest office is in San Diego”
We sat in the passport office with our heads resting on each other holding hands. Both of us knew what we had done and what we are going to do. Through each other we found confidence.
I remember what my love was like when I was young in my 20s. Carefree but willing to risk it all for the chance to be with someone that I could not live without. I found myself biking in the city and I stopped by the Austin River.
It was here that I let my engagement go to pursue the woman I ran away with. I took a risk to be with her.
I have made mistakes and I do not know what love is, it is ineffable. However, I will pursue it when I feel it next, tell myself I need to risk it all again. To find what I am looking for I need to open up my heart, be uncomfortable, and be the man I have to be.
